Just Say No to ‘Small Hat Syndrome’!

While Charlie Sheen rants about AA and Tiger’s Blood, I’m wondering when Los Angeles will get the 12-Step program it desperately needs: Fedoras Anonymous. Because this town is overrun by Men In Small Hats. Yes, the tiny teacup hats are everywhere: From hipsters in too-tight bowler hats with skinny jeans hunched over laptops pretending to write screenplays in Starbucks to fifty-something executives in pulled-down baseball caps in restaurants (on DATES, no less!) to the flat cap-wearing boys in late-night lounges. It’s an epidemic that needs to end, because it’s just not cool. Okay, so you want to wear an occasional baseball cap in the day to keep the sun out of your eyes? Fine. But hats at night are as douche-y as sunglasses at night. They are unnecessary, and just plain BAD MANNERS. Didn’t your mother teach you to remove your hat indoors?

I traced the genesis of the small hat trend loosely to Colin Farrell, but my boyfriend insists that it began with Jude Law in The Talented Mr. Ripley. And I’ve found evidence that backs his theory up; apparently retailers believe that Law’s look caused an upswing in bowler hat sales.

Maybe it’s just me, because I much prefer the testosterone-heavy ‘manly’ look to the metrosexual style, but I think this has gone too far. We’ve got to stop this trend before it reaches the tipping point. Last night at Palihouse, I saw four men in mini-white Stetsons. It’s time to stop the insanity!


2 thoughts on “Just Say No to ‘Small Hat Syndrome’!

  1. Heptaparaparshinokh says:

    As a long-time hat wearer (pork pie, almost exclusively. They suit my face) I am appalled by your call to arms.
    I think you got to the nub of the problem with “Didn’t your mother teach you to remove your hat indoors?”.
    There is a definite (and very manly-and-not-in-the-slightest-bit-metrosexual) etiquette to wearing a hat.
    Men should learn this, and then wear a good quality hat.
    However never, ever, should baseball caps be worn by men over the age of 21.
    Keep up the good work otherwise.

  2. Greg says:

    Oh come on there, Catherine. All the kooky and foo-foo behaviors, attributes, clothing, jewelry and accessories that us guys are subjected to when it comes to womenfolk that we don’t say anything about and just kind of roll with? And yet when a guy throws a ball cap on his head or an artsy type sports a fedora a la Sinatra and The Rat Pack, you act as though he went out in public with his underwear on the outside of his clothing.

    I’m not so certain that so many folks out there (women included) see this headwear as the fashion faux pas that you see it as. Just sayin’…

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