While Charlie Sheen rants about AA and Tiger’s Blood, I’m wondering when Los Angeles will get the 12-Step program it desperately needs: Fedoras Anonymous. Because this town is overrun by Men In Small Hats. Yes, the tiny teacup hats are everywhere: From hipsters in too-tight bowler hats with skinny jeans hunched over laptops pretending to write screenplays in Starbucks to fifty-something executives in pulled-down baseball caps in restaurants (on DATES, no less!) to the flat cap-wearing boys in late-night lounges. It’s an epidemic that needs to end, because it’s just not cool. Okay, so you want to wear an occasional baseball cap in the day to keep the sun out of your eyes? Fine. But hats at night are as douche-y as sunglasses at night. They are unnecessary, and just plain BAD MANNERS. Didn’t your mother teach you to remove your hat indoors?
I traced the genesis of the small hat trend loosely to Colin Farrell, but my boyfriend insists that it began with Jude Law in The Talented Mr. Ripley. And I’ve found evidence that backs his theory up; apparently retailers believe that Law’s look caused an upswing in bowler hat sales.
Maybe it’s just me, because I much prefer the testosterone-heavy ‘manly’ look to the metrosexual style, but I think this has gone too far. We’ve got to stop this trend before it reaches the tipping point. Last night at Palihouse, I saw four men in mini-white Stetsons. It’s time to stop the insanity!